I cockslap morals
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
