How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
