What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
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