so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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