Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm gonna fight the coyote
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
