Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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