His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
