Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
nutella sex= disaster
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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