He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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