I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
