Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
