Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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