I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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