the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize