I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You took a bar mat shot.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
