My sheets look like a crime scene.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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