Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My ass is underappreciated
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
