Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
