Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
