Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
