Do you still have your period?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Farmville is her only friend.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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