Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize