I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
