but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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