Is it because I queefed?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
