Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
This baby is an asshole
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
