We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
