sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You are the jesus of drinking
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize