And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
