Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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