"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
