hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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