I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
