maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
