Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
