sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
