Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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