Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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