I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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