we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
