Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize