The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
