Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
