This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
