He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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