Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
