well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
