maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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