he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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