You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
