Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize