on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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