His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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