Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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