Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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