Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
