People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
