Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize