bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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