I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
