I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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