just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
