Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
