marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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