i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
