at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize