Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
40s are totally the cure
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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