Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
