He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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