it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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