did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
