maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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