my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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