twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
